Not feeling Confident? - Inner voice can be a cow sometimes!
Before I start, this isn't a skinny bashing. My perspective is 5 foot 10 inches, standing in size 8 shoes and being a size 16. I can not completely comment on what being size 6 feels like as that hasn't happened to me. But I can tell you that every size, shape and face has a mind that shouts doubt and knocks confidence. Our inner voice can be a dangerous friend.
Nothing holds you back more than your own insecurities. I see it in my own behaviours, declining invites for a night out as I have nothing to wear, worried to hit the beach, not just because of my curves and stretch marks but I haven't shaved, turning down opportunities to teach, train and promote health because I fear being judged. Yes, thats just me AND I should know better. Stinking thinking can play heavily on mental health.
I nearly declined a fantastic opportunity simply based on my fear of being in front of a camera, sweating, exercising, being breathless and feeling awkward. Then my Goddess reminded me "that's how we all feel when exercising, some people need to see normal and you can normalise fitness". "I know that" I yelled back, "but the camera gains 10lbs and people will judge" She simply whispered back "that might be true of others to judge, but they have never walked in your shoes. You could inspire and change the life of one person as a result of you stepping outside of your comfort zone. So do this, be brave, be fiercely positive and they will believe that too". She is right, I am the only one stopping me.
Appearing confident is one thing, feeling it needs work, attention and a little love from yourself.
Look! We spend a lot of money on beauty products, anti-ageing, anti-cellulite, body brushing, yoga, pilates, exercise, great hair, good underwear, pedicures.. the list goes on, but what do we do to invest in our minds?
When I say invest, this is often TIME. Spending time with yourself, giving permission to say no, learning something new, reading (or colouring - I love mindfulness drawing books). Sometimes, giving yourself an opportunity to reflect, think and plan can lead to the inner bitch calming down and your inner Goddess within finding her voice. In the silence you can hear her whisper her tips for your confidence battles.
We can often be torn in so many directions, we lose sight of who we actually are and what our values stand for. Giving yourself some time to map out your story can help you see what is important in your life and if it doesn't nourish you simply let it go.
You are confined only by the walls you build yourself. These are some tips for growing your Goddess and building your self confidence:-
Eat Well - in mindful terms, being in the moment as you slice through peppers, smelling spices and enjoying your cooking environment can actually lead to reducing calorie intake.
Give compliments - instead of comparing, tell someone how they look. You can make someones day and not only lift their mood, but your own too.
Smile - This can often take practise as you may well become suspicious. This is the authentic you starting to grow.
Good Deed - do something for someone else (see above SMILE). It doesn't have to be a massive task but it can have a massive effect.
Move - This should be a no brainer, but sadly overlooked. Dance in your kitchen, join a class or walk along the shore. Do anything, just move your body.
Meditate - not everyones cup of tea. If meditation is not your solution, then simply find quiet time to draw, sit, breathe, simply find some stillness and listen to your surroundings.
Laugh - don't be afraid to laugh at yourself too. We all make mistakes, forgive yourself and on that note, forgive others.
Set Goals - every day, set a plan to achieve 2 or 3 big things, that are important to you and get them done. When building confidence we often need bite size tasks to get through each day, as the future can be overwhelming. Baby steps to improve mental wellbeing. Then tick off lists, don't just write lists, scratch off lists, there is so much satisfaction in this.
Be Brave - Life begins at the end of our comfort zones. If you want something you never had, you have to do something you've never done.
Accept other's differences - a big one for so many across faith, cultures, financial and physical. Our society dictates comparisons through media, politics and fashion. This for me is the biggest ask of the less confident. When you accept that it is ok to be different and realise that everyone is as unique as their own fingerprint then you begin to liberate yourself.
You do not need anyone's permission to feel glorious, you need time to start believing in yourself. Your dangerous inner voice can also be your liberator and your role model. The Inner Goddess just needs to be heard and responded to with self love. The quieter you become the more you hear.
Self-confidence is the best outfit, rock it and own it!