I don't shine, if you don't shine - SHINE THEORY

Instead of competing against or feeling jealous about other women, befriend them, get to know them and rise together in your own column of power and strength. I recently heard about The Shine Theory created by Ann Friedman and now being introduced worldwide with the view that "I won't shine, if you don't shine." After all, being heard, having a voice and being strong, is what so many female leaders want. Isn't it?

I have had my share of the haters. If only some of that negative energy was put to purpose and great things, who knows what the world would be like now!

I remember a situation many years ago, when myself and a competitor sat opposite each other when dealing with our shared customer. The back biting and low blows just flowed in my direction for the two hours of talks. At the end of the session, I spoke to my "female competitor" and shared my feelings of disappointment. Surely we both look bad in front of this customer? Surely we are better together in spite of our beliefs? The obvious answer is yes, but it never happened, eventually the work for the pair of us slowed up.

Raising teenage daughters, I feel even more passionate that women can change the world, and secretly (ahh it's no secret) wish for my daughters, that they are the ones that will change the world and I will stand fierce and proud.

The most toxic female relationships of my life have been with women who were deeply unhappy with their lives, and frequently compared them to mine.
— Ann Friedman

None of us need to linger in the shadows, in another power, we all bring strength and beauty to the table and we all have the ability to follow our own purpose and calling in life.

So here is how we shine:

Support: At a meeting for example, a female has a good suggestion, get behind her. Verbalise the greatness and support her. Say her name and ensure she is heard.

Network: sometimes the strongest relationships form from one small thing in common. Yes, there are all sorts of gender issues around floating the all female banner, but sometimes we need other women around us and we grow our power.

Share: Talk Shine Theory and tell your female colleagues how we can support each other and rise together.

Shine: amongst your girlfriends. Celebrate their ideas and ambitions. Believe in them and pick them up, if their confidence is wobbling. A few good words could change a moment, a day, a life. Beautiful minds inspire others.

In careers dominated by men, it can be a lonely place and women can be judged by the company they keep. Success is infectious. 

With so much conditioned competition drilled into us, we feel inauthentic and maybe untrue when we attempt to use shine. Work on your skills and deep down, you know it makes you feel good when you make someone's day. It doesn't make you look worse. When someone shines, they light you up too. 

Behind every successful woman is a tribe of other successful women who have her back.   Shine Theory reminds us that we are not in the centre of the universe and we all have a deeper value and purpose in life. 

Success isn’t finite. It’s not a substance that can run out, or a product that can be used up. One woman’s success doesn’t counteract your own. And when one of your friends is shining brightly, she doesn’t put you in the shadows. She lights you up, too.

Success is limitless, and contagious, and something to be celebrated – regardless of whether or not it’s your own.
Read more at http://www.marieclaire.co.uk/life/what-is-shine-theory-295830#RRdFJbmJJ6iOw6p5.99"

Helen TiteComment